i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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