do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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