we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize