so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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