even my farts smell like vagina
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
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I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize