Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
