wrigley field is MILF paradise
I cockslap morals
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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