Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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