You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
