I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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