everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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