They should really pass out barf bags in church
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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