We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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