Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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