I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Text me some of your sweat
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
