I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
