"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore