i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
