I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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