He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my vag is so smooth its legendary
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
