Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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