How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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