i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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