Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
