they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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