I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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