Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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