I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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