i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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