Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
