Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
