im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
