you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
