planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
