Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
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