Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.