it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again