this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Most Annoying Things Drivers Do on the Road
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
People Share What It’s Really Like to Date Long Distance
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.