alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
