just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
