I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
