I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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