Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize