alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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