you turned your livingroom into a bong?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
