You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
