is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Who died my cat blue again?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
