Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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