Plan B is the new Plan A
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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