i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
