nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize