you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
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you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
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Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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