called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
