my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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