fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
