I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
