Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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