READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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