his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
